Diary of a Third Time Dad

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No, he's not a Major League Baseball player (not yet anyway), and he isn't in a union. But this week, Cheryl (and Joshua) went through the toughest few days of their lives so far.

For those of you who don't know what this is, it's when a baby suddenly refuses to nurse. It can last anywhere from 1 to 4 days. He was sick with a fever and sore throat, so he already wasn't feeling well, and while he was nursing he decided to chomp down with his teeth and go for some blood.

As Cheryl usually does whenever "jaws" bites, she screamed "ow" and said "no biting". Joshua usually isn't so devastated by this reaction, but this time was different. He let go, slid off her lap, and threw a major fit.

I thought, "No way. This biting and yelling ordeal happens every week or so, and he's never gone on strike yet", but somehow Cheryl knew (like she always does) that something was different.

For some of you who have nursed a toddler, this might seem like a dream come true! Fourteen months is a long time, and Cheryl finally had her chance to be free of the Leech!

But for Cheryl breastfeeding is such a central part of her relationship with Joshua. She treasures it, and for it to be suddenly and completely taken from her was devastating. I know I can't even begin to feel what she was feeling, but I know she felt lost and incomplete. A sudden nursing strike was definitely NOT Cheryl's plan for weaning him. She looks at nursing in terms of YEARS. To have it suddenly end this way really hit her hard. She was a wreck.

The poor little guy simply would not nurse. He would snuggle and kiss and be affectionate in every other way, but whenever Cheryl tried to nurse him, he simply turned his head and pushed her away.

Falling asleep was especially hard. He would snuggle for a minute, then cry and squirm around, then try to crawl out of bed, then snuggle again. He would go back and forth like this for hours, but he just couldn't fall asleep without nursing. Cheryl would get up with him in the middle of the night and go downstairs and just hold him while he cried.

It would have been SO EASY for him to just settle down and nurse, and everything would go back to normal. But he simply wouldn't.

It was 3 days of this. Cheryl tried everything that has ever been written to end a nursing strike, but nothing worked.

Then on the 4th day I came home for lunch to find Cheryl sitting on the couch nursing a sleeping Joshua. She was able to sneak it in while he was asleep (which she had been trying unsuccessfully to do this whole time). He woke up a while later and immediately pushed Cheryl away. But that night she was able to nurse him again asleep, and over the next couple days he slowly began to nurse again.

Now he's going full steam again, and this episode is all behind us. Cheryl says she'll never resent his middle-of-the-night nursing or his all-day-long nursing binges again.

I shudder to think of how Cheryl would feel if this had been the end of nursing. She would have probably made me have another baby just so she could breastfeed again.

I used to think nursing strikes were no big deal. So, the baby doesn't nurse for a day or two, then he starts again and everything goes back to normal. But when it actually happens to your own family, it's scary. Now I realize how traumatic it can be.

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