You know how on the TV show ER they receive a warning call that some severe trauma patient is coming in? It all seems so exciting. Well, this never happens in real life in our office. But today we came close! Or so I thought.

One of our nurses told me a very concerned mom was on the line saying her son cut his toe severely and blood was everywhere. She was going to go to the ER. I thought to myself, "Why should the ER get all the action?" I told the nurse to have the patient come in to our office right away and we'd take care of it.

I could almost see the lights and cameras setting up in our "trauma" room (we don't really have one, but it was fun to pretend) as we prepared to receive this severely hemorrhaging victim (just like on TV!) I was trying to figure out if I was Dr. Green or Dr. Ross. I picture myself more like the Dr. Ross type, don't you?

When the victim finally arrived, I walked into the room to see a mom sitting in the chair with her young boy sitting up in her lap smiling. He had a tiny little scrape on his toe, and there was no blood to be seen anywhere. I could also hear the director yelling "Cut, stop tape, let's pack it up. There's nothing to see here!" It was immediately obvious that this was no emergency. My dreams of saving the day while performing CPR and ordering lots of things "STAT" were shattered. But I realized I could still have some fun with this.

The mom had that "I am so embarrassed I rushed in here" look on her face that I've seen many times before. I had two choices: 1. I could let the mom off the hook, just tell her it looks fine, and be on my way or, 2. I could have some fun with this. After a long day of ear infections and runny noses, I was ready for some fun. I made a big show of examining the "hemorrhaging wound" and saying "wow, blood must have been squirting everywhere! How did you cope?" I almost felt bad, because this only worked to increase her embarrassment. She swore that at home it was gaping open and gallons of blood were flowing out. She even brought her friend with her as a witness. I assured her that I believed her completely (I don't think she bought it) and that wounds can seem more severe when they are bleeding. We put a fancy bandage on it to help the little guy feel better. I couldn't stop smiling for at least an hour.

And if this mom is reading this, I really do appreciate your sense of humor in this situation. It's a mom's job to worry about even the little things and to make sure the kids are well taken care of. Please come into the office anytime. After all, it's better to be safe than sorry.

Dr. Bob