The Doctor Diaries

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During routine checkups I always make it a point to examine the genital area. For infants it's easy. I just take off the diaper and examine away. But for preschoolers and older I have to be a little more creative. What I often do for boys is simply say, "Now I'm going to examine your penis. Because I'm Dr. Bob, and your mommy is here, it's ok for me to see your penis."

What I've found is that not all little kids even know what their "penis" is, because in their house there is a different name for it. Often a mom will say to their child, "It's ok. Dr. Bob just needs to look at your _____ (insert cute little name)". Whenever a mom uses a name different than "penis", I always wonder "Ooops, did I just say the "P" word in front of your child and you didn't want me too?"

I've learned lots of new names for this body part over the years, and I won't mention them all here. But I heard a brand new one the other day that I found so funny that I couldn't hold back my laughter. A mom told her little boy, "Dr. Bob needs to check your Winky."

What really through me off is a week later I was examining a little GIRL, and when it came to her genital area, her mom said the same thing! "Time to see your winky."

It seems to me that "winky" sounds a lot more penis-like than vulva-like. But who knows.

In our house, it's all penis. With three boys (and no more!) we'll never have to think of any cute little girl-part names.