I love frequent flyer programs. We’ve had more free vacations on frequent flyer miles than I can count. But when it comes to pediatrics, frequent flyers are not something we like to see. Or do we?

On the one hand, if our patients keep getting sick, they come to see us more, and we make more money. An added bonus is that we get to know them better. But if our patients get sick a lot, sometimes I feel like I’m not doing my job well enough.

On the other hand, sometimes a whole year or two will go by before I see a patient, and I walk into the room and, “Wow, I forgot all about you guys!” No, I don’t really say that. But it’s kind of weird that I know my healthiest patients the least, and my sickest patients the best.

Just exactly what is the role of a pediatrician? Is it to simply fix illnesses as they happen? Or should we be teaching parents how to best keep their kids healthy so they don’t get sick?

But if I’m such a great doctor that none of my patients ever get sick, then I’ll just sit around in my office all day with nothing to do. Then I won’t be able to make my Porsche payment, afford the country club dues, or spend thousands of dollars each month on my American Airlines Mastercard so I can earn all the frequent flyer miles I need for free vacations.

So what can I do? Well, I try my best to educate parents on how to keep their kids healthy, but thankfully they don’t always listen to me, so their kids sometimes get sick, at least often enough to keep me busy. And winter helps us out to keep the cash flow going (if you could call what we have here in Southern California “winter”).

Truthfully, I’d rather be a poor pediatrician with healthy patients than a rich one with a frequent flyer program for their patients.

I drive a Honda Civic, by the way. And I paid it off 2 years ago.

Dr. Bob