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July 2006

Friendly Conversation!

So I walk into a room to see a sick kid, but before I can get a word out the mom asks me �How�s your summer going?�

Now it was a pretty busy day, and I had my skates on (this is the term my staff uses when I�m in hurry mode), so I wasn�t really in the mood to chat. I wanted to find out why the child was here, what was wrong, look at his ears so I could make a diagnosis and get out of there to see the next patient waiting in line (and a very long line it was). Usually when I�m skating the first thing out of my mouth when I glide into a room is �What brings you in here today� or �What seems to be wrong with little Johnny� or something like that to get the ball rolling.

So when this mom beat me to the punch by asking me the first question, I was momentarily stunned. I didn�t know what to say. If I�d actually had real skates on I would have probably tripped. Why was this mom asking me such a casual question? Aren�t I the one who�s supposed to be doing the asking? Didn�t she notice the waiting room full of sick kids? Can�t she see I�m wearing roller skates?

But it didn�t end there. She kept asking questions. �How�s Cheryl (my wife and office manager) doing? You guys going anywhere this summer? How are the kids? How�s Joshua?� She asked them so fast I could barely keep up. I think I said things like, �Oh she�s fine. Yes we�re going to Florida. The kids are fine.� You know, the kind of brief answers you give when you don�t really feel like talking, like when your mother-in-law calls or something. I normally love to talk to patients about my personal life, when I have the time and it�s not a super busy day.

And then it hit me. Maybe this mom was just genuinely interested in how I was doing. Maybe she actually cared about me as a person. Not just whether or not I was a good doctor, but how I was doing as a father and husband. Maybe some people like to have a nice friendship with their pediatrician, instead of it just being all business. Maybe she noticed I was stressed out and moving too fast, and she just wanted to give me a little breather.

So I decided to take a little break and enjoy some nice adult conversation. I answered her questions again, but this time I gave her real answers. My wife is great, but overworked and underappreciated. She works harder than I do. We�ve got a great summer planned. I�m going to be a camp doctor at my teenager�s summer camp for a week. That should be nice and relaxing. Then it�s off to Disney World for a fun filled week of all play and no rest, then a week at the beach to recover. The kids are a joy. I love playing guitar with my teenager, and the early teen years really aren�t as bad as everyone says they should be. I�m having a lot of fun with my 10-year-old doing sports and mountain biking. And my little Joshua, he�s as cute as ever and demands (and gets!) every second of my attention when I�m at home.

Ahhhhh . . . Deep breath . . . I could feel the stress of the day melting away . . .

Then I looked at the kid�s ear, said he�s fine, and left to move on to my next patient.

So, sorry to any of you who were there that day and had to wait an extra 5 minutes while this mom and I chatted. But it sure was nice to just sit down for a few minutes and enjoy a little peace and quiet. We all probably get too busy in our daily jobs and don�t stop to smell the roses once and a while. And it was really nice to know that this patient thinks of me not just as her doctor, but as a friend whom she is genuinely interested in how things are going. I should do that more often. Feel free to engage me in conversation if you ever see me overworked and overstressed in the office. I�ll appreciate it (although the patients still waiting after you may not!).

Dr. Bob

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