This is a common “problem” in kids this age. First, let’s define the problem. Are her eating habits affecting her growth? Is she too skinny? If she is gaining weight, then she must be sneaking some food while you’re not looking, or maybe she doesn’t need as much food as you think she needs. The average toddler will need between 1000 and 1300 calories per day. Some days they will eat more, some days they will eat less. Instead of continuing to fight a battle with your toddler at every meal time, I suggest not caring if she stays in her chair. While it is important to exercise parental authority, a constant struggle like this won’t help strengthen her respect for you (especially if you usually lose this struggle). The limits you set should be consistently enforced: she is NEVER allowed to run out into the street, she is NEVER allowed to handle a steak knife, etc. But to try and keep her sitting in a high chair while you are trying to eat dinner seems like a battle I wouldn’t want to fight at EVERY meal time. When my kids were this age, we set limits, and we strictly enforced them. But we were careful to set limits that were enforceable. Since it’s not a danger for them to be playing while we eat dinner, then we didn’t care if they were in their chairs or not. If it’s not a rule, then the rule can’t be broken, and you can avoid struggling over something that doesn’t really matter anyway. Wait until she is older to insist on sitting through dinner time.

I would suggest this routine: you mentioned that she will eat a lot if you help her, so go ahead and help her eat an appropriate amount at the beginning of meal time. Then, when she is done, let her run and play. That way, you and dad can enjoy a more peaceful dinner.

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