When you turn your child over to substitute caregivers, you also turn over the job of disciplining your child. Choose subs who discipline as you do. Be especially careful when choosing someone who will be in charge of your child for many hours a week while you are at work. Choose a sub whose discipline methods you know and value. If you are looking only for the occasional babysitter, try trading childcare with parents who share your philosophy of discipline. When choosing a teenage babysitter, it helps to know the correction methods his or her parents used. If your babysitter's behavior was spank-controlled as a child, she may correct your child that way.

It's difficult, perhaps impossible, for a substitute caregiver to be the perfect disciplinarian. They lack your connection. When interviewing a sub, ask about discipline. Quiz her on a series of situations: "What would you do if my child had a tantrum?" "What would you do if my child were defiant?" Ask how she was corrected as a child, and try to get a feel for her overall philosophy of discipline. If her philosophy is close to yours (don't expect a perfect match), add the finishing touches by telling her specifically how you want your child corrected. Based on your knowledge of your child, walk her through specific misbehaviors she may encounter and ask her to role-play how she would handle them. Better yet, pay her to spend a few days observing, helping you, and interacting with your child. To make it easier for your fill-in, let your child know that you are transferring authority to the sitter. Tell your older child that you expect him to respect the sitter and to behave in your absence. A substitute who is over-attentive may stifle a child's independence, interfere with his ability to solve his own problems, or dampen his creativity. To the other extreme is a negligent caregiver who, by placing no limits on the child, is downright dangerous. The caregiver who is appropriately attentive is a rare find. If you have discovered one, treasure her.