Your mind and body will tell you you’re pregnant long before anyone else notices. During these early months you may become more introspective as you consider the miracle going on inside you and the changes ahead. It’s easy to feel preoccupied even at work, especially if this is your first pregnancy.
Many of the emotions you felt in the first month intensify during the second and continue to be as unsettled as your stomach. Adjusting to the idea of pregnancy invading your body takes time. It is normal to feel both happy about growing a baby and anxious about the toll pregnancy takes on your mind, body, and lifestyle. Many mothers report feeling some antipathy toward their babies for making them so sick. It’s nothing to feel guilty about. (You won’t hold it against your baby when he’s born!) No matter how much you love your baby now; you’re bound to hate feeling nauseated. Three key emotional changes include:
1. Overly sensitive and touchy. With your mind preoccupied with all the issues of pregnancy, little things that didn’t bother you previously now set you off, and you may find yourself overreacting to trivial nuisances. Where you previously tolerated quirks in your mate’s personality, there may be days when you just can’t stand some of the things he does. Or you may go to pieces if he is ten minutes late getting home from work. A dog barking or the doorbell ringing may startle you. Daily tasks can seem mountainous when you’re tired, nauseous, and awash in ambivalence. Take this touchiness as a signal from your body, telling you to do what you can to clear your environment of things that disturb your peace. Of course, you can’t tell your mate or your three-year-old to move out for a few months, but you can be sure to get enough rest, to spend time each day relaxing your body and mind, and to ask for peace and quiet when you need it.
2. Upset for no reason. As the excitement and newness of the pregnancy begin to wear off and you settle into the reality of pregnant family life, you are likely to feel less tolerant of the normal upsets of family living. At the same time, your mate may become less understanding. The pregnancy may not seem very real to him yet, and he may not understand that you no longer have the energy to do what you did two months ago. Your sexual desire is waning; it’s hard to feel sexy when you’re tired, nauseated, and concerned about your changing body. This may further frustrate your spouse, making matters worse. Remind him (tactfully) that you are pregnant, and even though he can’t see the changes in your body, you can certainly feel them. Also, tell him that there’s hope: “the books says” you’ll be feeling better in another month or two.
3. Feeling dependent. Prior to being pregnant you may have been used to a relatively independent lifestyle at work and at home. You were used to doing things for everyone else and being on the receiving end of the thanks and the strokes from others. Now you are one who needs to be cared for, and being on the needy end of a relationship can trouble your self-esteem.