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Transition to Own Bed

“When is the right time to transition children to sleeping in their own bed? I share my king size bed with my 4 ½-year-old on one side of me, and my 22-month-old on the other side of me. My husband sleeps on the couch. We both work and the arrangement is not a problem. The nighttime bonding/reconnection time is wonderful. But we do want our older son to be able to sleep in his own bed without me. And if we move the older son is it good to move the younger son at the same time? Can they sleep together?”

When is the right time? Whenever you are ready. I would imagine that Dad would love to return to his spot in his bed. It would be great to try both kids together in a bed of their own; they might go for this if done together. Our children were used to sleeping in our bed at this age, but they eventually learned. Sometimes it took incentives, we started by making a “star-chart”. For every night she fell asleep by herself she would get a star, and after three stars she would get a prize. Some nights she would say, “I don’t think I want a star for tonight”, and that was okay – she was always welcome in our bed. Soon, she was easily falling asleep by herself, but most mornings I would awaken to find her snuggling between my wife and I. Again, this was not a problem for us (I love snuggling my kids). So, the next step was to make a star chart for staying in her bed ALL NIGHT. She earned a really nice prize for that accomplishment.

I like this approach for several reasons:

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  1. Children develop a positive attitude about sleep.
  2. They are not forced into anything that they aren’t ready for – they get to choose between two nice things.
  3. Everybody stays happy – there are no nighttime struggles, which help keep lost sleep to a minimum.

Kids are now older, sleeping great.

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Dr. Jim

September 3, 2013 January 15, 2015 Dr. Bill Sears
Become a Dr. Sears Certified Health Coach
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