The Importance of Building Your Tribe, and Sharing With Others
“I get by with a little help from my friends”. Perhaps Paul McCartney was right. As a healthy living coach and fitness teacher, I get to observe the amazing phenomenon that is human nature every day. Whether it’s a group of sleep-deprived new mamas that lift each other up over coffee, or a yoga class that is breathing together in full acceptance of the energy of the moment. One thing is clear, human connection. That innate sense that we need to be a part of a tribe, especially new moms!
Envision your tribe: Now let’s take that phenomenon of connection and envision a healthy living tribe who is bonded through their shared goals and dreams. Take a moment and think about who you may already have or who you would like to draw into your wellness tribe. My tribe is incredible, and a large part of my health transformation. When I got to that point of desperation I knew I needed to try something different which included the willingness to be vulnerable. Especially now as first-time mama (due date is fast approaching), I’ve found new friends to link arms with through this amazingly crazy journey to motherhood.
First Steps Toward Building a Tribe
- Getting honest with myself first. What do I need in a group of friends?
- I found just a few friends that I knew I could trust to encourage me, and who also needed support.
- Reconnect with my church small group.
- Practice consistency in reaching out.
Here are some experiences my mama tribe have had with sharing and support:
“Many days I just feel like I’m failing at this whole mom thing. Instead of going down that road, I got out of my head grabbed a buddy and focused on how great I would feel after a walk and talk.”
“There is always food at my pity parties, and it’s always the bad kind. I have uninvited myself to the party and opened up to friends instead. We now support each other as a team.”
The Helpers High
The power of sharing: This is what Dr. Sears and I call “The helpers high”. In our new book The Dr. Sears T5 Wellness Plan, we have a whole chapter on this! I had no idea how powerful this would be until experienced it. I had a lot of insecurity around reaching out to new mama friends. One day I said to a friend “I am really struggling today”, then I heard a pause on the other line. My friend’s voice started to crack as she went on to share how she was very depressed and has been isolating herself. I had to make a choice right then and there, was I going to join in her downward spiral, or was I going to share what had worked for me the last time I felt depressed. I heard a lightness start to return in her voice as she said: “thank you so much, I needed that!” What if I had allowed my insecurities to win? It’s a beautiful cycle of support, accountability, and personal development.
The more you give it away the more you keep it!
- The unhealthy thoughts and feelings are less powerful as I verbalize them to others.
- You don’t have to be perfect to share. In fact, I’m able to help more people now because of my imperfections.
- Birds of a feather flock together. Go on a “toxic people diet” just like would go on a whole food diet.
You are doing awesome mama!
Cheers to health,
Coach Erin Sears Basile